Energy is everything. It’s easy to say “no” when we believe we can’t achieve something that it becomes profoundly beneficial to find ways to break past these limiting beliefs by simply making a tiny shift in our attitudes or way of thinking.
This can be as simple as starting to say “yes” when you find yourself feeling afraid of judgment or closing up, or even withdrawing from a challenge that you feel might be beyond you.
Like the expression, “You don’t know till you try”.
Maybe, let the universe surprise you or surprise yourself. You might be uncovering strengths or skills you never knew you had if you opened yourself up to the possibilities of saying “yes”.
Also, whatever you feel you were afraid of may not be that hard or difficult after all. It could even mean doing something that scares you so that you interrupt your usual modus operandi.
It’s easy to fall into the habit of saying, “No, this is not really me. It’s just not my thing”, when the truth is there could be fear linked to it.
Staying safe and being predictable doesn’t trigger massive change, but embracing the new, even the uncomfortable can be refreshingly empowering when you allow yourself to explore new, or even unchartered territory.
This is why I truly believe it’s an interesting experiment to start saying “yes” to things you would normally say “no” to, within reason, especially if fear is what’s holding you back.
Sometimes, people seem to want more out of their lives but they feel they may not deserve it or they aren’t good enough. This can breed low levels of confidence or lack.
This unhappiness or stuck energy is something I often pick up from students who speak to me after my workshops and classes at OhanaJo.
It’s this general sense of someone who’s not going for it, as though they want to but they feel they can’t. Saying “no” can be a contracting vibration whereas “yes” seems to make us feel braver and expansive.
It can make a person feel somehow hollow, empty, and even irritable because you have this feeling that you’re not really meant to be doing what you’re currently doing but you feel you have no other option so you do it anyway.
You can sometimes see the dissatisfaction in someone’s eyes. You can even sense it from the way they speak about their work or the conditions that arise in their life that seem to be “blocking” them from expressing their ultimate potential.
So, why do people remain in the same dissatisfied position, knowing how unfulfilled they are? Fear.
Fear comes in many forms and guises, especially the fear of the unknown. People fear what they cannot control, or fear they are shackled with no choice.
Many fear what change might bring, so they end up playing it safe. Others fear they simply won’t be good enough so they hold themselves back, “I cannot…”
Well, if any sentence begins with these two words, the subconscious mind has already decided that something is beyond your reach. Be aware that the mind is a powerful thing. If it believes it can or cannot do something, it is right, either way.
I was inspired by an interview of Hollywood actor Will Smith speaking about a childhood incident that taught him anything was possible.
His father broke down a wall that lined the building of his business and asked his two sons to rebuild it. A very young Smith said it was impossible. The task seemed too big. He could not foresee ever finishing such a job.
But like any obstacle in life, you just need to sink your teeth into it, and get started.
Every day after school Smith and his brother worked on that wall, laying it one brick at a time. A year and a half later, the wall was built.
Their wise father said it was the last time he wanted to hear from them that something was “impossible” or could not be done.
If we lived our lives with the embedded belief that “we can”, then we are already reaching for our dreams rather than believing “we cannot” which closes the door on them.
That’s why, I try to push past fear, because fear is limiting and holds one back from realising their true potential.
This is why I wholeheartedly believe in the mantra, “do something that scares you” because we always grow when we are tested and we feel empowered when we are challenged.
Doing something you’ve never done before for the first time can be nerve-wracking. I remember counting down the days to one of my earliest emcee jobs, hoping I wouldn’t make an utter fool of myself in front of so many strangers.
I can still picture the ballroom with a thousand expectant faces peering up at me as I stood there. My heart was racing as I delivered my opening address and I was broadcasted round the room on a live feed via giant projectors.
Somehow, I got through this and realised looking back, that my fears were far worse than the reality of how I performed. Like anything in life, we just get better and better with more practice and experience.
Now, more than two decades later, I’m totally at ease on any stage, regardless of the number of people gathered before me, but this took time and practice but I got there.
When we conquer any fear, there’s a sense of confidence that you’ll be able to handle anything that comes your way. So, start by doing something small, that feels like you are giving yourself a chance to expand, to discover more things about yourself that you never knew.
Maybe just say “yes” even if a tiny voice in your head is saying, “You can’t do it”.
Just get into the habit of embracing change and doing something different so that you’re always challenging yourself. Fears will always exist within us but when you’re brave enough to face them, they lose their power over you.
Jojo Struys is the founder of OhanaJo, a healing space offering transformational sessions in mindfulness, daily meditation, yoga, sound healing and private counselling.
For more information or to register for a free trial, visit www.ohanajo.com to experience their uniquely therapeutic on-ground or daily online sessions.
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